No Studying Equals Playing Highly?

After the final, I have lots of troubles that are annoying me. I feel uncomfortable again, painful, anxious as well. I begin to ponder why I need to exist in this world. It appears that everytime I can hardly make things work out, I feel quite depressed. But in the meantime, I question myself on showing this emotional explosion strongly. Why do I feel I'm restrained by this society? It seems nothing wrong but I'm quite afraid of being myself.  Can't think about and do things normally 'cause I got less confidence to trust myself, not to mention that I'll rely it on others. When I watch telly, see the movies, and listen to my favorite musics, I found that I feel no enthusiasm at all. Really. And I've no clue why this condition happens to me. It seems that I have no more passion living in this world, becoming a lost person who can barely enter that "sacred palace" where is hidden in the deep in my mind. "No studying equals playing highly?" Gosh, it is a horrible monster living in our mind whether you believe it or not. It does invade everyone here step by step, terribly rooting the mental state of our own. And I totally disapprove of this notion. Now I just feel pathetic for the system of Chinese education since it has been screwing everyone up, which people here will never end up being eroded. 

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