The Land of Conjurors

You know that we can never be numb all the time especially when you are really not that type. Truly, I am not the person like that. David told me I should be more open-minded, and he considered I might be the one in heaviness for dealing with the perspective which is different from others. Yeah, I should be more open-minded, I couldn't agree with you more. And this occasion seems to back to the way I am, it appears that nothing changes but me, and it's always me who should be changed in the overall condition. And you know that why I love to listen to rock music is not the question of the degree in terms of affection but the technique the musicians would like to express. What's more, the personal experiences of ourselves which are reflected by those songs and images emerge from unexpectedly. You know that people tend to avoid the bad condition or feeling they truly have and would like to transform it into something positive for the circumstances of fitting the plea and reque

Recently I've found some great bands and their songs though they've been popular for a long time and the other were old-fashioned. Well, anyway they are still fantastic as far as I'm concerned. Pulp and Red Hot Chili Pepper are two great bands that I discovered the other day. Pulp's "Underwear" and "Disco 2000" are so fabulous because the voice of the vocalist is so low that reminds me of the style of "back to the ancients." And a band that can be heard at least one or zero times since I bet you've never heard of them, The Wedding Present's "Interstate 5." And Smashing Pumpkin's "1979," a recollection of past in young age when studying at school. Perhaps I will have cried by the time I graduate from university and have more sense of sentiment for being sad, ha ha, who knows. Well, these are great songs that I've been listening to. In addition, I'd like to recommend Red Hot Chili Pepper's new song,

I found that I kind of like the literature step by step. I mean I used to take it as my burden for taking the exam which was to be the ultimate goal. However, literature arouses my interest because of the cram school teacher, Ms. Chen. She might be the one I admire since she has the capability for organising the key points and then intergrating them in a new meaning. This kind of "montage" technique becomes one of the skill in deep reading and memory of mine. And I apply it to my literary research pretty well, considering that it also develops my creativity and critical thinking. Everytime I expect the class on Saturdays for listening to Ms. Chen's lecture. Though it take long time from 12:30 to 17:30, sometimes she runs out of time, it still worthy to learn those rare and unexpected stuff. I know that perhaps it is not for me by taking the course as a mean to get touch with a great future but the greatest moment for being bound with my excitement and confidence. In addit

Who can imagine that to recall you falls on this kind of way. You have once said that this is the life we're going to pay. Here, I am on shore, watching you boarding the ship for being a sailor you're meant to be, drifting to the other side you will see. By the time your shadow draws back to a needle piercing hearts of a huddle and leaves them a moment recalled of transient being. And the world is still spinning.

You said that life makes you become a fool Whenever you keep your strides out of frame As struggling before being drowned in a pool None of us can protect you from being lame Because you believe there is a gigantic monster  Moaning through the wall that is totally invisible You choose to take it as your alternative cloister, Where no one will scare you to be explicable But now there's nobody who holds your hand  Everything gradually turns out to be blur Only if you strike on it through touching sand Will you be led to the horizon you emerge from And then to somewhere you swim for being clear.

Struggling with secularization and sacredness consumes me with a great deal. I've been thinking and still haven't figured out this question at all. Life of human being is so hard that it turns you down or lifts you up. Nevertheless the most difficult thing might be the struggle and suffering which are in the middle of determination. Hamlet's words "To be or not to be, that is the question" can be true that we consider the purposes or even the completeness of something crucial in need. But if we keep ourselves with sacredness which falls on the face of pursuing soul, we would contemplate the condition more deeper and wider so as to follow our beliefs. The emotion and perception accompany us for we show the truth and belief of our own even though the result from the public might be hard to tolerate the decision we made or even lay the condition in negligence by a glimpse. And sometimes I doubt it due to the sake of human emotion and its complexity with the outcome f

The biggest warmth today might be the encounter with Lucas. I've been snowing under with loads of assighments and research lately and even feeling annoying these days for the difficulties in my creativity. But Lucas is always gentle and kind as if I were a good child of his when he treats us. Yeah, for the moment of meeting him, I have got rid of the mind on my uncombed hair, on my oily face and on my tired eyes. That was a very subtle and tiny feeling that others were hard to imagine. Oh, Lucas, how can I live without your inspiration? You should know. And Lucas, it seems that he can feel every moment I feel, asking my opinions and perspective, not letting me get down with my meditation so long. He truly knows me even though I will not say any words out loud. He feels me with my eyes, touching me with his unspeakable verve, alluring me with his gentle character. Oh, god, if flowers had spirit as human being, theirs would never wither, and that person might be you, Lucas. My mind w