The Land of Conjurors

I was at the restaurant having dinner with my classmate. In the middle of chatting, I overheard of a song called "Kinky Love." At that time, I was not sure where I had heard this kind of melody before; however, I was enamored by its melody and the singer's tone. It was like dreaming in dream while you were in reality but remained awake. Besides, the tone of this song sounds like a French lady's. And then it seems that I have remembered where this melody comes from. It derives from one complete CD which my best friend lend me in my junior high school. Long time ago that I recalled the memory I had in junior high school while enjoying the music of this song in delightful mood. This song could be released for me when facing a great burden of my assignment during the period of study and loads of exams somehow. I was so excited that soon I checked this song after returning home, finding that this song actually is derived from British alternative rock band, Pale Saints , th

Sometimes I still cannot trust myself doing assignment or presentations. It seems that I need to grap many kinds of things to pacify me with musics or resources so forth. Nonetheless, this is not what I really want. I beg myself not to do so because it just hurts me and I will be more languishing than before, that's all. Sometimes I question myself for why I study this stuff, but it seems that I am still care about the teachers' expectation and others' judgment. The big Other can hardly remove as always. It seems that it's hard to delve into the inner desire and even to reveal it easily. But I deeply know that I am giving myself pressure than before, with a loosen mind that can barely tighten up but remain in languishment, and push myself to keep going on doing the research without any delightful mood. Such a languishment, pathetically, derives from me in no way to return. I miss the one who was intensely creative most of the time.