The Land of Conjurors

Today, we win at last, but things change too fast as we have expected. I am not sure whether Mr. Chen has a great power to take turn of the problem my friend had encountered. He replies to my friend, saying that he will persuade the candidate before her into giving up the enrollment. The letter was sent this morning, and my friend received the reply this afternoon, so the dealing time was quite fast for waiting merely couples of hours. Fortunately, the result is what we expect, which my friend can back to the school again. It seems to be a good news, but who knows whether there will be other horrible intervention in this problem. Just wish things could go easily and smoothly for my friend's plan.

Dear Lucas, I don't get this world enough. Why, there is still a rule existing firmly in our mental side and even can turn people to be willful as conducting things on their own way. How can I help my friend with her permission to enter the graduate school? Everything becomes so obscure and desperate. We made this rule and then fall into its eddy, isn't it ridiculous somehow? The rule shows everything which you can hardly confront with ultimately and must gradually shrink back to the way you were. And the consequence will tell you, nothing has been changed 'cause you have to follow the discipline of everything. Oh, God, I wish I could know this better, but I did not. Perhaps I always imagine that everything will turn back to the brightness and goodness, but I always deserve other suggestions. Dear Lucas, I have been learning a good many things, you know? But sometimes I just can't easily face the truth of this society or the ugliness emerged from some certain instituti

It seems that I have seen you envy those guys with eagerness as you wish you could be. And I should realize that things shall not work this way. Something should be changed somehow. You should know it better as much as you can. It is kind of you wish to be someone and write something well or even better, but that is not you, to be honest. Why, I should know that it does not suit you anymore, to better the mind and the whole soul being. I click the close window of "that pages" without any regret for being the person like he or her because I can do my better own way and no longer be bothered by you. To be reasonable acutely and extremely sentimental perhaps lead me to disaster in darkness, but I have no objection to give hindrance to my characters. It begins when I notice your messages are all about the shadow from professors, and your way of thinking clings to some certain theorists. If I can see through you earlier, I should know you clearly and thoroughly without any doubt.

Is it any chance that he can back to the track he was? He looks at himself with blind eyes, considering if there is a chance in his face that may turn him around. But he can hardly find one to continue its own way. His tears are falling upon his cold look, and he tries to brew tears as hard as he can. Exhausted as he is now, he still picks up the phone immediately, but he answers the phone with his languid voice. What he had heard lies no echo over there but merely the silence moving along. Such silence that he acutely perceives remains an empty bottle. Again the peace comes to him, but it appears that this time he feels less pain and struggle of anguish.  He calls it the peace, but I don't think so. A peace without a peaceful mind, crawling everywhere on his body and then his head, waiting for the next meeting with volcano, preparing himself for erupting his so-called "peaceful mask."

This may perhaps the simplest and purest relationship among us. No relationship of love, hatred and indifference. We all had a great time, truly, and we even can have it without a word. This will be very precious for the memory of my graduate school. To be honest, I feel I have changed somehow, believe it or not. But I have try to face the predicament as I take this trip and found out my real problem. The true thing is not that I learn to talk to others or stay with them with responsibility and necessity but that the easement to me and peace in my mind emerge with natural existence. For this reason, I feel less fear than before, not all are gone, but comfortable as I stay in the way I have. This time, it seems that I have somewhat perceived what Lucas does, and I feel grateful for what I have with all these things around me. I have opened my mind for so many things and met some special friends. Actually I kind of feel touched. Something you can hardly tell me in a minute and in a certa

When coming to school for work, I still imagine that R is there. And I may bump into her somehow. There is something between us, I know, and I surely hope she knows that. Recently, I dream her figure, and she suddenly turns me down for everything I want. I'm not sure if it my problem or my unconsciousness that makes her to do so. After having this dream, I kind of feeling depressed and can hardly move on my way of life. Something in me tells me that I will not give up facing her. With my weird character, yes, there are so many things we can both work on, which I truly believe. Furthermore, I keep processing my studies from a variety of information on web and books, keeping my steps catching the level of R. But there are all my wishes to be improved on my own way somehow. In addition to this, I kind of getting tired of doing the work of administration since I can merely doing things for some trifles and always check the information of number, time and schedule. To be honest, I had a

I had a bad dream that is something to do with R. I wish she will not forget me somehow. I feel bad when I think of her in school. It's weird that I know more about myself through getting along with her. I have not made my decision to choose my adviser. Perhaps I am still struggling with professor's research realm that may affect my paper in the future. Still have some moment to wait until the consequence, and now I am just in the middle of it, taking my time to explore some other theories and writers who are rarely studied by academics. Suddenly I think I am quite interested in man. What I mean is that, I kind of being aware of some people with their stories in life, their emotions with rises and falls and their transformation in each level for the journey in lifetime. I am not sure whether it is the feeling that I just have gone through my grandma's funeral or not; nonetheless, the exploration of man always keeps me in an excitatory state. R is one of the men whom I'd