Lifeless

Just to be a loser and nothing else. Sometimes it is not the problem of love, perhaps the lack of feeling erodes me more or less. Things that are not said will find another way. But you even find it sick of trying to make fun of yourself. Nothing is for a certain purpose, and I finally realize that we are the people who are talking to no one. To do things always becomes wrong especially for us since we disappoint others, we are the disappointment. Better remain silent for anything as we always let others down. S had told me the circumstance of society that will draw out of your humanity. Perhaps I am undergoing such condition which keeps absorbing my feelings. Sooner or later I will become nobody. Right, sooner or later. Waiting is wasted if the horrible timing is always about to come. S is the typical criminal when looking upon her face. A word she wouldn't say but grey as she got plain feeling for anything she sees and tastes. She is not the person who is meant to be like this. And I at times fear to become what she is at present. The fear will not be the love itself but the lack of feeling that turns you into knowing nothing of how to love others and be loved. S is watching me die, step by step. Numb subsequently. It reminds me of someone who told me that I have to express my true feeling. But most of the time it is not to hide the feelings because I am quite exhausted in explaining all the things I encountered, just like S. We at length choose to lay bare our feelings as we can no longer feel anything in particular. It seems that we have nothing about how to express our true feelings. As we even don't have any control for crying of how to cry, why we cry and cry for what, how would you expect us to show our feelings? Senseless as people feel nothing else. Now a title of "loser" might be better put for both of us. A loser without the senses, lifeless being.