Mess in Soliloquy

Yeah, it's so hard to tell the truth now. I feel so helpless and emoitionless somehow. And I must leave Taichung, one way or another. I always felt excited while I was in Kaoshung because there was another home beyond my homwtown where I can always expect from. Now it is really over, as well as the meeting with Lucas. Yeah, no more, no more bwtween us. So soon and uninformative, which are just passed away without any voices. Ridiculous. Why do we meet at last in such ridiculous way? Who knows? What are we hiding from? The best way is to pretend nothing happen, and yeah, that's the best way you think that can work on, isn't it? Like what you said, you are open-minded for everyone's thinking and opinions, but never establish any relationship with others. Good! Very good. That means you really got your freesom in doing it, right? Everything for you seems so detached and never get close at all. What a shame. How to behave the way I am, I don't even know. Leaving Taichung, I am so reluctant to go. Who would know my feeling? If you only knew my position, I would be very grateful for it. Going back, the same as the barren world, no matter how hard I try and how far I'd like to reach. It seems that I don't really change at all because it all depends on the enviornment or some kind of atmosphere which leads me to the process of every moment I have gone through. And I know there are a great many things that I don't understand for the meaning of some novels, and I don't even percieve the meaning from the author's intention. Yeah, I'm so naive and non-experienced. One of my classmates told me that it is because I got less working experiences compared with others. Yeah, I adimit it. But is that my fault? I can't see anything if you would say that. Ha, pathetic. Detached, which means you love lonliness, and you really enjoy being lonely. You brought me this. And I won't get too close to others unless I really find a good friend. To be a strange person, and yeah, that's the way I am. And I will not change it cuz that's my own nature.

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